Chrustmas Eve
We can’t call it Christmas, or we are told we are offending someone from a religion that celebrates something other than Christmas. Indeed, Christmas may be anathema to some people’s religion. We can’t call it “the Holidays,” since the Christians view this as a denigration of Christmas, possibly even a capital offense. It’s similar to naming a stuffed bear Mohammad, this calling Christmas a Holiday. We ought to take the guy out and crucify him or something.
Therefore, I suggest a new name. With all due respect, we should call it Chrustmas. Chrustmas calls up smells of baking bread, slightly tense but enjoyable family times, and crunching through the snow. No one has to be offended in any religion.
May all your Chrustmasses be merry.